Definition
Bite Me is a disorder that is known to affect at least 4 people in the United States.

Description
The affected individual often prefers to lie in bed, drink coffee while reading books, seek muffins or otherwise not engage in physical activity.

A Bite Me attack occurs when the individual is invited to go on a bicycle ride.

An Bite Me attack can be brief or it can last for several years.

Causes and Risk Factors
The two main factors that contribute to Bite Me are un-inflated tires and over-inflated body parts.

The stimulus or "triggers" that can induce a Bite Me attack are:

• allergens (substances to which people are allergic), such as pumps, gloves, helmets, assorted bicycle parts.

   

• too little exertion

   

• emotional stress, such as being invited on a ride

   

• weather conditions - over 80 degrees or under 60 degrees

Symptoms
During a Bite Me attack the person may complain of upset stomach, sinus problems, gall bladder problems, even sore ankles.

Diagnosis
Bite Me is sometimes hard to diagnose, because it can resemble actual known illnesses. Therefore, the diagnosis of Bite Me is based on:

1. repeated failure to ride with friends

2. agreeing to ride but not appearing

3. making excuses for weeks in advance

Treatment
Bite Me cannot be cured, but surprising results have been demonstrated by introducing ice cream and/or muffins.   There are also reports of a new import from Germany which appears to have provided at least a temporary cure to one affected individual.